The snowstorm postponed my mapping appointment, but it also gave me something unexpected: time. Time to look back at the last six weeks and notice how much has changed—and in ways I didn’t fully recognize without reflection.
HEARING SPANGLISH
My Cochlear Implant Journey with Carrie Spangler
Unfocused
Unfocused Hearing.
Maybe I just need to pay more attention. Maybe I am multitasking and that is why I cannot hear. Maybe someone is talking too soft. Maybe someone is a mumbler. Maybe my hearing aids just need adjusted. Maybe I am hanging out in really loud and reverberant places. Maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night.
These are a few of the maybes that have been going through my head about my “unfocused hearing” for the last two years.
As an audiologist, I know that hearing healthcare is CRITICAL and it is important to have your hearing tested on a regular basis.
Personally, I also know that the struggles that I am experiencing would lead me to news that my hearing and discrimination had decreased. I am someone who likes to stay strong and independent and in my mind, getting news that MY hearing had decreased was a sign of weakness. It is an irrational thought process I know, but it was the process that I was struggling with. Unfocused Hearing.
All of us are unfocused at times in different areas of our life and it may take time to become focused again. As I began to focus on the fact that it was more difficult to hear and understand, I began to realize that I was filtering out people. I LOVE to be around people and love to sit down with a cup of coffee (or wine) and have a great conversation with friends and family. Coming back into focus, I realized that it is not a sign of weakness to find out about a change in my hearing, but it is a sign of weakness not to do anything about it.
What in your life is unfocused? How can you bring it back in to focus so you are not filtering out what is important in your life? Next week I will focus on the importance of bringing people into the cochlear implant journey to help filter and focus!
More from the blog
Activation day marked the beginning of my second cochlear implant journey—bilateral! Spoiler alert- it didn't sound good----yet! With preserved low-frequency hearing and amazement for the brain’s ability to adapt, I reflect on the unfamiliar sounds, the emotions that surfaced, and the confidence that comes from knowing this process is a marathon I’ve successfully run before.
Nine days post-surgery, I’m living in the unilateral listening world—grateful for what I know and amazed by how much has changed in six years. From electrocochleography signals to Frosty's and French fries, this part of the marathon reflects healing, gratitude, and the road to bilateral sound.
“The first CI is life-changing. The second CI is pure joy.” Friday I begin that joy-filled marathon as I step into the bilateral CI world—ready for new sounds, new possibilities, and a brand-new chapter of hearing.
